I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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