I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
