Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
