he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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