where am i from again
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
