She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
