I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
