it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize