i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
