And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
