you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
