Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
