Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Help. Why am I so naked?
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