Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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