is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
