Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
