Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I think a kid would responsible me up
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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