Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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