I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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