That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
