dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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