that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
