You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
