The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
as a side note pls kill me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
