Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
