I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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