you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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