i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize