Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How's work?
Spinning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My feet surprised me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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