my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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