is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
