You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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