Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
