I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
