i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
we're so committed to being not committed
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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