I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
