idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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