You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
