i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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