Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
