Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
