it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
