I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
