The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When are your genitals available?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
