the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize