it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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