apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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