Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
