wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize