i already hear my dad disowning me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
