Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize