Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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