Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
