Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
