Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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