They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I lost the right to judge tonight
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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