He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
