dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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