she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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