They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
