im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We left the knife in your bed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
