90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
