They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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