I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
