covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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