You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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