yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
