Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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