after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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