First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
