Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
