And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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